On the last day of May I went with a student tour group to visit Leeds Castle. I had never been to the castle before, nor had ever been anywhere with a tour group, so I thought, Why Not, How Bad Can It Be?
This was my first tour group trip, so I was a little apprehensive while I waited for the bus to arrive to pick us up downtown Oxford at 08:00 SHARP!!!. Apparently we would be left behind if we were even one minute late. Indeed, it was impressed upon us to be 15 minutes early, so I was half an hour early, just to be safe, like.
I need not have worried. The bus was 30 minutes late, and the official tour guide had called off at the last minute, so the company in charge had pressed a young student into service to keep us in line. She did what she could, but as soon as my fellow passengers got wind that no real discipline was going to be exerted they took over the tour and dominated the proceedings.
The road to Leeds Castle was free and we made good progress, until we reached the entrance. There was a diversion sign, so our driver started to circle around the castle, trying to spot an entrance for coaches. After half an hour or so of this my fellow passengers got restless, and soon three or four of them started to crowd the driver with advice, liberally dispensed by their Satellite Navigation Devices. I refrained from getting involved, despite sitting up front, as usual. The driver was getting more and more agitated, and his SatNav armed advisers started to argue amongst themselves, as well as with him, and every SatNav had a different voice giving different directions, and soon we were completely lost.
There were several sticky moments when we found ourselves hurtling down a tiny country lane with sharp curves, and avoiding crashing into cars travelling on the same lane but in the opposite direction was no mean feat. Kudos to the Driver! After an hour and a half of this we were back at the original castle entrance, threw caution to the wind, ignored the diversion sign, and drove down the forbidden road anyway. And Lo and Behold! barely fifty meters further was the visitors' parking area.
By now we were almost three hours late. The Driver was completely cowed and we, the passengers, had wrested control away from him, and indeed from the substitute guide. Originally the plan had been to check out the castle and then to go on to Canterbury to visit the cathedral and what not, but it was getting late - what did we want to do? After a heated debate - I kept out of it - there was a democratic vote and it was agreed that we would spend just an hour and a half at the castle and then mosey on to Canterbury.
So I hightailed it up the castle, raced through the attractions, omitting the maze and kitchen gardens, and was back at the coach 15 minutes before leaving time. Will I ever learn? At the 14:00 specified departure only about a third of my fellow tourists had returned. Interestingly enough, the ones who had voted to just stay at Leeds Castle and forget about going to Canterbury were the ones who were back on time, whereas the ones who had voted to press on to Canterbury ASAP! all returned late to the bus.
Community spirit was now at a low ebb; the ones who were five minutes late scowled at the ones who were ten minutes late, who in their turn harangued the ones who were twenty minutes late, and so on down the punctuality pecking order. Two American students and I throned at the top of the pecking order, having been fifteen minutes early, so we glowered at everyone else. Half an hour after the specified leaving time when we were finally all assembled, we noticed that we had lost our tour guide!
So a search party was duly dispatched, and found her entrapped in the Maze Garden. She had been trying to escape from it for over an hour, and tried to send us a text, but her mobile battery had gone dead, and she was close to tears when finally rescued. But the tour wasn't over yet, Canterbury had to be reached and conquered, so we hit the road again, with a decidedly world weary driver.
By the time we got to Canterbury I was in no mood for any further adventures. I checked out a few kitchen supply stores - of which there are many in Canterbury - and then went to a nice little restaurant and had an early dinner and read the newspaper.
Yet again I was back at our meeting point fifteen minutes early, and I am pleased to report that my fellow passengers - suitably chastened no doubt by my chilly demeanor after their irresponsible lateness from the castle - all returned on time. Nevertheless we arrived Oxford over an hour late. The exploited substitute tour guide and I left the bus at the same stop, started chatting, and ended up in a pub chewing the cud for another hour or two. Although the castle was great, and Canterbury impressive, I can honestly say my chat with her was the best part of the tour.
Hope you like the photos!
