DB Lenck's Mutinous Musings: A Very Superior Tea Party

Queues in front of Buckingham Palace

Yesterday my Twin J and I went to our first ever Queen's Garden Party! Terribly exiting, of course! We had been planning and scheming for months, ever since we first received our invitations.

And the scarf is Pierres d'orient et d'occident

It was a good day for it, 22 Celsius, neither too hot nor too cold, and although the afternoon started out a bit overcast, it didn't rain. Apparently during the royal garden party last week (there are three such parties in total) it rained cats & dogs, and people had to huddle about in tea tents, which, though no doubt cozy, and liable to rekindle the Dunkirk Spirit, is nevertheless bound to be less enjoyable than the sunshine we enjoyed while gamboling amidst the royal plantings.

The fete started at 15:30, but we managed to get in at about 15:00. Security was strict - probably more so than usual, given Monday's Manchester bombing. I felt quite safe - what with Beefeaters and frock-coated security and loads of service personnel about, waiting to be decorated, not to mention the sharp-shooters on the roof, I didn't even bother to zip up my handbag.

Luckily enough one was allowed to take pictures - though not selfies with the royals, which is fair enough - so I took a few discrete photos while TJ and I swanned around the gardens. There are 16 hectares of them, including a lake with an island, a sort of mountain range, and loads of beautiful lawns and flower beds. Apparently the grounds are full of interesting wildlife, some of them quite rare, and two species, including one fungus, grow only in this garden and no where else! I gleaned this information from the little leaflet the palace helpfully supplied. They didn't give the name of this fungus, but it is probably something like Buckinghamia Teapartii Leftoveria.

To some extent I had an advantage over other visitors, in that the grounds and the festivities generally resembled nothing as much as a college garden party, of which I have attended at least a dozen. Everything yesterday was at a much larger scale, of course - about ten times as large - but nevertheless I felt that I knew the basic principles, and so didn't feel intimidated.

At 16:00 the Queen and Prince Philip walked through the door of the palace and waited on the terrace, and there was a minute of silence in honour of the victims of the Manchester bombing. The Queen is not tall, and I am quite short myself, so I didn't see much more than her head, which on this occasion was crowned by a lovely yellow hat. I felt kind of glad I shelved my yellow dress plans - after all, one has a duty not to clash, as Hyacinth Bucket would say.

Before this we had been gently arranged into undulating people waves, with little pathways in between, so the royals could weave their way through the masses and make contact with their people, but somehow they never came anywhere near where we stood. Perhaps they cancelled the walkabout altogether given the security situation. It was a bit sad, because TJ had meant to have some serious words with her Majesty about politics, and I had brought half a dozen utility bills. My invitation had asked me to bring a utility bill, presumably because the Queen wanted to compare the water and electricity bills of Buckingham Palace with those of my own little hut, so I thought I'd bring a few more, just so she got the full picture. But as I said, I never got anywhere near her.

Prince Charles and Camilla, and several younger members of the family, also managed to evade our attempts of having a serious discussion about the state of the nation, so after waiting about half an hour without a show-up we went to the tea tent for light refreshments (you notice how I channeled Hyacinth Bucket throughout the afternoon).

I stuck to the little cakes, which were delicious, especially the chocolate croquant one, which featured a little crown. Triplet R, who did not attend the event, on account of her republican leanings, would have approved of the cake, but not the size of the teacup - pathetically small! Needless to say, TJ kept our Dear Third informed throughout the proceedings, with the help of his little hand-held communication device.

Aside from the magnificent grounds we also much admired our fellow guests - about 8,0000 of them, apparently. I almost took a photo of a lady who was posing in front of a rhododendron bush wearing an inflatable crown - Whowzer! TJ and I behaved impeccably, seeing as we were representatives of our company, of course.

Everyone looked very well dressed. Most of the ladies - and yes, they were all ladies, or at least dressed and behaved as such, which arguably is all that matters - wore hats or fascinators and 'day dresses', and the gentleman wore dark suits and even morning coats and top hats. The whole event had a decidedly Edwardian feel to it, it was as though one had stepped into a time warp. Anyone who knows my opinions about the deplorably bad ways people dress nowadays will readily understand that I felt quite at home and in excellent company. I saw any number of couples who looked like I imagine my parents would have looked at such a function.

As mentioned previously, there were quite a few uniform wearers, both men and women, and some who wore chains of office, which also added a touch of decorum to the milling crowds.

At 18:00 the party came to an end, and we were conducted through the palace back into the street. TJ and I had booked dinner at the club, which is just ten minutes walk away from the palace. Being back a bit earlier than expected - I thought the eviction of the thousands would take a while - we sipped Pimms on the club's terrace, musing on the afternoon, and enjoying the afterglow of the event. Dinner was excellent as usual, and as politics was discussed at length (though not utility bills), we did not regret our missed conversation with the Head of State too deeply. Upon reflection I am forced to admit that the Queen probably preferred it that way.

But enough of the waffle, here are the photos! Some were taken by TJ, to whom I am massively grateful both for being such excellent company and for letting me use his pictures.