I was sick at home today, and spend much of the day listening to the wireless and thinking deep thoughts.
Eve the research scientist
In the morning there was a feminist discussion on Radio 4 about Eve having been victimised and blamed for the apple thing for thousands of years, which all sounded good until I realised that they accepted this basic 'men are rational' 'women are emotional' bullshit dichotomy one is so often confronted with.
So, let's do our own analysis here! Adam was a thicko without imagination or curiosity; God told him what to do and he obeyed. He lacked character, too - when Eve tempted him with the apple he just gave in, he didn't have the back bone of a jelly fish. 'Rational and superior', a guy like that who blindly obeys orders and allows himself to be persuaded by some so-called 'inferior silly little woman'? I don't think so!
But Eve now, she was a different person altogether! When the serpent, who had given Adam up as a hopeless case before he was even created, approached Eve with the suggestion to try out the different fruit available in the Garden of Eden, she was prepared to consider it! She was willing to stick out her neck a bit, and experiment - in fact, she was the first research scientist!
And her curiosity was rewarded by God, though of course the misogynists who scripted the Bible got it all muddled when they told the tale. What actually happened was that God, pleased that finally one of his creations showed a bit intelligence and initiative, rewarded her by letting her out of the garden, which, though nice enough, had become stifling and boring.
So let's hear no more about women being this and men being that - I am sick to death of it. Just because Adam was a spineless bore doesn't mean that all men alive today are, too. And just because Eve had a creative intellect doesn't mean that all women are scientifically inclined. How the BB-brains who wrote down the Bible could get that so wrong I really can't imagine!
Black holes & deep pits of despair
A long time ago, after my Mother had died, I used to have this recurring dream. Every night, without fail, I dreamt that I was being chased through the streets by an angry mob. And as I was running away big black holes would open out in front of me, deep like craters, and I would have to dodge them, and wherever I dodged to another hole opened up. It was quite exhausting, having this dream every night! Finally I got sick of it, and in the middle of the dream I thought, 'this is shit, I am not doing this anymore!', and jumped straight into the nearest hole. And woke up. And never had that dream again.
After that I only dreamed about the mad hordes chasing me. But even that dream I managed to change, and in the end I remember sitting up high in the rafters of a tithe-barn (don't ask me why!), throwing rocks at my pursuers, and my Mother sat next to me, and tried to throw rocks as well, but couldn't, being a ghost and all, so she just egged me on, and anyway, we won every time.
Recently I had that dream about the pits opening up again. They were terrifying! Deep black pits trying to inculcate hopeless despair, wanting to fill me with nameless dread. But this time there weren't any angry hordes chasing me, and so I didn't have to run. Instead I bend down and had a closer look at the black holes that opened up in front of me. And would you believe it, they weren't holes at all. Just black paint! If Eve were here she would probably figure out who the invisible idiot was who painted black holes on the streets of my dreams, but I, being less scientifically inclined, just walked across them.
The road led to la Banne d'Ordanche, by the way. Funny things, dreams!
