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| Melchisedick versus the Gun Men of the Apocalypse |
I had a simply splendid time in Paris yesterday! The weather was good, though not particularly sunny, and barely off the metro I found this dwarf - surely an answer to terrorists all over the world - he just had to come with me. Together we made Paris a safer place!
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| At La Madeleine |
Paris was rather empty, I noticed. Lots of french speakers on the streets, but the hordes of pesky tourists who usually blight one's existence had been thinned out to an extent that the french element dominated.
I walked to all my favourite places, taking photos of Melchisedick along the way, and attracted lots of attention. When quizzed I just said, C'est une response pour les terroristes, and everyone agreed and even applauded.
I had a very successful shopping spree as well. A stole whose colour had managed to elude me for several years winked at me from a window - on sale!!!!!!!, and the Hermes shop in the Honore Faubourg actually had the all black carre-foulard jacquard scarf I desperately needed to match one of my dresses (red and black, hitherto impossible to be-scarf successfully).
Despite it being Saturday afternoon three weeks before Christmas the shop was pretty empty, so I had lots of attention. I notice that most customers like to make a meal out of their purchases and take ages, so my technique tends to make a bit of a splash. Yesterday was a good example of it. I walked in, pointed at a scarf hanging on the wall, and asked, Vous avez un en noir? The sales assistant bustled off, found one, I checked it, said, Parfait, and that was it.
Except this time Melchisedick accompanied me, and I asked whether we could take his photo amidst the scarves, as a warning to terrorists everywhere - mess with Paris again and face the Red Dwarf! They had heard of Red Dwarf and were more than willing to participate in my scheme to save Paris!
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| At the Hermes Boutique |
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| Wearing my new scarf |
I also had lunch at the Club just across the road, where several very superior looking old ladies were lunching with their gentleman friends, and commented most favourably on my dwarf and the sentiment he expressed. One used the opportunity to teach me the expression 'Mange de la Merde', which means something like Eat Shit as in 'Suck shit and die' - surely an excellent way to rebuff terrorists.
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| Christmas tree at the club |
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| Melchisedick knows no respect |
The Louvre, Tuileries, and Notre Dame were all visited for photo-shoots with Melchisedick, and I can honestly say that I have never made such an impact on Paris as this blessed Saturday.
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| Just outside the Champs Elysees' Christmas Market |
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| Place de la Concorde |
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| Ditto |
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| In the Tuileries |
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| Ditto with giant wheel and gold tipped sky needle |
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| The Louvre |
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| Outside the Louvre |
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| Along the Seine embankment |
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| Notre Dame |
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| Behind Notre Dame with my favourite cafe in the background |
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| To the right of which |
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| Back of Notre Dame |
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| Lots of Christmas trees on sale downtown Paris |
Back in London things immediately deteriorated. I waited for 40 minutes at the Marylebone bus stop for the X90, then a bus came that was almost full, and we were told we'd have to wait another 30 minutes for the next one. Hell No! thought I, that one might be full as well! I flagged a cab and went to the Marble Arch bus stop, thus queue-jumping all the waiting passengers at Marylebone Road. Waited another 20 minutes - it was getting quite cold, what with the wind and advancing hour - and finally settled into my seat at 23:30. Not content with this, fate sent a further tribulation in the form of an inconsiderate lorry driver - for Superdrug, take note! - who parked so idiotically that the bus could not get around it. We waited for ten minutes, honking and shouting, while cars actually drove over onto the wrong side of the street to get past our bus, thus dangerously tempting oncoming cars, until finally the lorry driver deigned to re-appear. At the Marylebone bus stop the crowd of waiting passengers had further increased, and the upshot was that two passengers had to ride in the luggage compartment on the top floor! One was sitting right behind me, holding on to my chair for grim death, so the journey was eventful.
I was finally at home at 01:00, and overslept disgracefully, thus missing breakfast with my good friend A, whose e-mail is broken so I can't even apologise.
To suitably end this blog, I post two photos I took yesterday of embalmed rats which were caught at Les Halles in the 1920s, and are prominently displayed in the shop window of an exterminator near Chatelet Metro station. Enjoy!
